Question:
I need help with a written apology.?
retardstoner420@gmail.com
2007-09-17 08:48:23 UTC
I was working with the wrong people who were taking money from our till only on shifts they worked with me. Anyways, the owners figured I took the money and had to go to court for stealing $100. I decided to plead guilty since I am a minor and therefore it's only a petty misdemeanor. I need to write a letter of apology and pay $50 fine, and I didn't take the money so I don't really know how to apologize. If anyone would like to give me a few tips (other than don't take the rap for others), it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Ten answers:
Spence
2007-09-19 14:30:53 UTC
write an effective apology letter based on the formula for a proper apology.

A proper apology should always include the following:



- a detailed account of what happened

- acknowledgement of the hurt or damage done

- take responsibility for the situation and recognize your role (they may have taken the money but you knew it was wrong and didn't do anything about it)

- a statement of regret (and not because you were blamed but because you knew it was wrong and didn't say anything)

- ask to be forgiven and promise that you have learned your lesson and it won't happen again
trooper3316
2007-09-17 16:01:48 UTC
First of all, if you stood by and watched someone else take the money, you would be considered a party to the crime. Just like a getaway driver on a bank robbery would be guilty, even if he never entered the bank.



You can write a letter of apology without admitting guilt by saying general things like "I made a mistake", or " I learned a lot from this", or "I never realized how something like this effects other people".
her with the mad ginger hair
2007-09-17 16:04:21 UTC
awww hunni you have already taken the rap for these guys and now got yourself a bad record in the process.petty demeanor or not that will stay on your files for a long time.you dont need to appologise they do for being so dishonest and cowardly in letting you get charged with something you didnt do.they should be paying your fine too as i would guess you lost your job? but if you feel you want to write to your employer tell the truth.. say you were scared in court thats why you addmitted the theft.. you didnt do it.. and, if you know for sure who did just say he should keep an eye on whoever it was ,because without doubt they will do it again. i hope this is of some help to you .xx
Jon
2007-09-17 15:59:16 UTC
Should have plead No contest. not guilty.

In essence that are the same, but with guilty you ar admitting you did it.

No contest means you are not saying you did it, just cant prove you didn't do it so you are not contesting it.



Don't get too bogged down in the formality and details, Just say your sorry about the event in general.

If you knew about it but did nothing about it, then you are guilty.
2007-09-17 15:58:21 UTC
You have nothing to apologize for, therefore you can't apologize.



If you really want to go ahead with a dishonest apology, try something along the lines of "I'm sorry that I stole the money, I was acting selfishly, I understand that my actions undermined trust in me and makes it more difficult for my bosses to trust their employees." Be sure to focus not on yourself, but how your actions affected others.



Make it a good lie.
Kermitbust
2007-09-17 15:58:21 UTC
Isn't our court/justice system wonderful? why don't you apologize for leaving them with a bad opinion of you? Something like: "I'm so very sorry for making you think poorly of me." then explain that you opted for the guilty plea because it was easier/faster/cheaper than mounting a potentially costly defense.
2007-09-17 15:59:36 UTC
Retard Stoner,

Actually writing out an apology for something you did not do would simply be impossible for most people. However, if you absolutely have to, keep it short.... like one line.
~Celtic~Saltire~
2007-09-17 16:00:11 UTC
Write a letter and tell it like it is and from the heart.



Good Luck!
Greg
2007-09-17 15:56:40 UTC
Don't plead guilty, now there just going to keep doing it to you.
~Raspberry Tea~
2007-09-20 18:51:11 UTC
If you did not do it then you never should of pleaded guilty.

You need to go to the employer and admit you did not do it and why you pleaded guilty. They will probably ask who really did it. Tell the truth.



Here is a book that can help you.



THE FIVE LANGUAGES OF APOLOGY by Gary Chapman www.fivelovelanguages.com



The Five Languages of Apology



~Expressing Regret~

“Expressing Regret” is the Apology Language that zeroes in on emotional hurt. It is an admission of guilt and shame for causing pain to another person.



For those who listen for “Expressing Regret” apologies, a simple “I’m sorry” is all they look for. There is no need for explanation or “pay back” provided the apology has truly come from the heart.



“Expressing Regret” is a powerful Apology Language because it gets right to the point. It doesn’t make excuses or attempt to deflect blame. Above all, “Expressing Regret” takes ownership of the wrong. For that reason, “Expressing Regret” is understood as a sincere commitment to repair and rebuild the relationship.



The “Expressing Regret” Apology Language speaks most clearly when the person offering the apology reflects sincerity not only verbally, but also through body language. Unflinching eye contact and a gentle, but firm touch are two ways that body language can underscore sincerity.



~Accept Responsibility~

It is very difficult for some people to admit that they’re wrong. It makes them doubt their self-worth, and no one likes to be portrayed as a failure. However, as adults, we must all admit that we are sinners and that we will make mistakes. We are going to make poor decisions that hurt our mates, and we are going to have to admit that we were wrong. We have to accept responsibility for our own failures.



For many individuals, all they want is to hear the words, “I am wrong.” If the apology neglects accepting responsibility for their actions, many partners will not feel as though the apology was meaningful and sincere. Many partners need to learn how to overcome their ego, the desire to not be viewed as a failure, and simply admit that their actions were wrong. For a mate who speaks this apology language, if an apology does not admit fault, it is not worth hearing. Being sincere in your apology means allowing yourself to be weak, and admitting that you make mistakes. Though this may be hard to do for some people, it makes a world of a difference to your partner who speaks this language.



~Make Restitution~

In our society, many people believe that wrong acts demand justice. The one who commits the crime should pay for their wrongdoing. A mate who speaks this love language feels the same way towards apologies. They believe that in order to be sincere, the person who is apologizing should justify their actions. The mate who’s been hurt simply wants to hear that their mate still loves them.



There are many effective ways to demonstrate sincerity in an apology. Each mate must learn the other’s love language in order to complete the act of restitution. Though some mates may feel a though all is forgotten with a bouquet of flowers, that may not necessarily work for all mates. Every mate should uncover what their partner’s main love language is (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts) and use that specific language in order to make restitutions in the most effective way.



For a mate whose primary apology language is making restitutions, no matter how often you say “I’m sorry”, or “I was wrong”, your mate will never find the apology sincere. You must show strong efforts for making amends. A genuine apology will be accompanied by the assurance that you still love your mate

and have a desire to right the wrong-doings committed.



~Genuinely Repent~

For some individuals, repentance is the convincing factor in an apology. Some mates will doubt the sincerity of an apology if it is not accompanied by their partner’s desire to modify their behavior to avoid

the situation in the future.



It’s important to remember that all true repentance begins in the heart. A mate must feel poorly for hurting their loved one, and rely on God’s help in order to truly change. Admitting you are wrong creates vulnerability. It allows your mate to get a glimpse of your heart. The glimpse of true self is assurance that the apology was sincere.



One important aspect of genuinely repenting is verbalizing your desire to change. Your mate cannot read your mind. Though you may be trying to change inside, if you do not verbalize your desire to change to your mate, most likely they will still be hurt.



Many people have problems with repenting when they do not feel as though their actions were morally wrong. However, in a healthy relationship, we often make changes that have nothing to do with morality and everything to do with building a harmonious marriage.



It is also important to make a dedicated plan for change. Often apologies involving repentance fail because the person never set up steps of action to help ensure success. A person must first set goals for their change. After you create realistic goals, then you can start implementing a plan to change. Taking baby steps towards repentance instead of insisting on changing all at once will increase your chances of successfully changing your ways.



It is important to remember that change is hard. Constructive change does not mean we will immediately be successful. There will be highs and lows on the road to change. You must remember that with God’s help, anyone can change their ways if they are truly and genuinely ready to repent.



~Request Forgiveness~

In some relationships, a mate wants to hear their partner physically ask for forgiveness. They want assurance that their mate recognizes the need for forgiveness. By asking forgiveness for their actions, a partner is really asking their mate to still love them. Requesting forgiveness assures your mate that you want to see the relationship fully restored. It also proves to your mate that you are sincerely sorry for what you’ve done. It shows that you realize you’ve done something wrong. Requesting forgiveness also shows that you are willing to put the future of the relationship in the hands of the offended mate. You are leaving the final decision up to your partner – to forgive or not forgive.



Requesting forgiveness is not easy. It often leaves one vulnerable to the fear of rejection. Along with the fear of rejection is the fear of failing. Many people have a hard time seeking forgiveness because it means admitting that you have failed. The only way to overcome this fear is to recognize that it is very common amongst mankind. The commonality makes it okay to be a failure. It allows a stubborn mate to apologize to their partner and become a healthy individual.



Ultimately, it’s important to remember that there is a difference between asking for forgiveness and DEMANDING forgiveness. When we demand forgiveness, we tend to forget the nature of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice the offended party is supposed to make. Demanding forgiveness takes away the sincerity of asking for it.



Remember not to treat forgiveness lightly. It is something to be cherished and appreciated. The act of forgiveness is hard on both ends – for the person who’s asking and for the person who’s accepting.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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