Excuses for not to go to work during the pandemic with the coronavirus?

Question

It's almost a Friday and I need to find an excuse I can make up for not to go to work. The only problem is that the excuse of being sick doesn't work this time, because u need a doctor's note for your return to work as a precaution for jobs not to think or believe you have covid 19. 
So I can't use an excuse of being sick because I would need to go to the doctor, plus I don't have health insurance so I can't go check myself for the doctor's note. What other excuses may I use to avoid work? Please don't  say for me to tell my coworkers that I don't want to go to work that day, that option will get me in trouble with my managers.
Please write as many excuses that u can think of besides the one I just said I wouldn't do or say and not being sick.

Answer 1

Someone tried to break in and broke a window...with covid it's hard to get repairs done and you can't leave your home unsecured. IF the window guy gets here in time, you'll be in...but they shouldn't count on it 'cause COVID!!

Answer 2

You're fortunate to have a job to go to.  Put your adult pants on and go to work.

Answer 3

"I'm lazy."  "The government is giving me money so I decided to be a useless parasite."  "My union steward told me..."  "I don't feel like it."  "A guy on Yahoo!Answers told me …"  "I'm a worthless piece of excrement."  Actually get sick.  Die.  (Most employers don't want dead employees hanging around.  They tend to stink after a few days.)

Answer 4

Here is one to try...go to f***ing work.

Answer 5

"My girlfriend and I have an appointment with her OB/GYN"

"The dog ate my bicycle and I can't get to work."

"OK, I'll remember that for the future, casual Friday means pants"

"My dermatologist said that it isn't easily transmitted."

Answer 6

Just change your plans and go to work like you are supposed to. You did not say you have any compelling but not usually accepted reasons to take the day off.

Answer 7

"Sorry, I'm too lazy to be responsible today"