Hmmm....this is a good question. I've been a paramedic for a little over a year now, and I've had that question come up before.
Ultimately, the patient decides where to go...if the patient wants to be transported to podunk ER, and as long as he's alert/oriented and legally able to make the decision, then podunk ER is where he goes. When I've got a patient who wants to go to podunk ER and I think he needs to go to the trauma center, then I will try to talk him into it, but it's the patient's decision.
While "pale and sweating" is indeed a symptom of shock, it can also be a symptom of the patient being scared...and in a wreck, most patients are somewhat pale and sweaty at first.
Cars total fairly easily, and a "totaled" car isn't necessarily a reason to transport to a trauma center. You also have to take into account the patient's injuries, and exactly how the car was damaged. Was it a rollover, was there passenger compartment intrusion? Was the patient wearing her seatbelt? What were her vital signs? It's completely possible that at the time, she didn't have any other symptoms, and the medics thought that the regular ER would be just fine.
Despite the fact that the trauma center is the best place for a seriously injured patient to go, there's no reason why podunk ER had to put the patient on a stretcher for 4 and 1/2 hours while awaiting treatment. A regular ER is fully equipped to deal with trauma, stabilize the patient, and transport the patient via helicopter to a trauma center if need be. Just because the podunk ER isn't designated a "trauma center" doesn't make them any less able to stabilize an MVA that rolls in the door. The reason a trauma center is called that is because of the fact that they have surgeons standing by 24 hours a day...a regular ER is still equipped to diagnose and stabilize most major trauma.
Where I'm from, we have the ultimate podunk ER, but the trauma center was too far away to take a major trauma patient. The patient would be transported to the ER, stabilized, and flown the 30 minutes to the big-city ER.
As long as the medic gave a decent report to the ER, then it's up to them to treat the patient appropriately. It's not the medic's fault that the patient was triaged to wait in the hallway for nearly 5 hours; that fault lies with the ER staff. They obviously didn't recognize the seriousness of the patient's injuries, and react appropriately. If the ER staff thought the patient was in need of a trauma center, they could have the patient there via helicopter within 30 minutes, easily, and that's what they should have done.
You also have to take into account that EMT's vary in their training and scope of practice...there's a world of difference between a volunteer EMT-Basic (who can't start IV's or give most medications) and a paid, professional EMT-Paramedic who can do all of that. I can understand if an EMT-Basic is uncomfortable transporting a trauma patient 30 minutes to the trauma center...the patient in that case, does need to go to the nearest ER, where she can be stabilized and then transported to the trauma center. I can even understand the paramedic not wanting to take the critical patient to the trauma center 30 minutes away, when there's a local ER just a few minutes away. While paramedics can stabilize most injuries, they aren't doctors, and the patient needs a doctor, even if it's at a smaller ER.
Hope this helps...